(no subject)

i see: monitor, trash on my desk.
i need to: do my hw, clean my room. stop being a pathetic lump of jello.
i find: myself wishing i could leave.
i have: a shitload of hw to do, a set to finish, a pizza to eat.
i wish: school would leave me alone, show would leave me alone.
i love: some things. Lindsey comes to mind.
i hate: a few things.
i miss: too many things. most of them aren't things anyone knows about.
i fear: that i don't feel.
i feel: i don't know. wistful. pissed.
i hear: i'm not paying attention to what's on tv, and i have Peter Salett's "Heart of Mine" turned down very low. keys clacking.
i smell: pizza
i want: the set to magically finish itself.
*when was the last time you ...
smiled?: today, on the phone.
laughed?: today, on the phone.
cried?: Saturday, during build. you weren't there. unless you're one person out of the crowd there.
danced?: danced around the audlob on Friday.
were sarcastic?: ehe.
talked to an ex?: both were at Saturday build, i think.
watched your favorite movie?: been a while.
last book you read: for fun? ages ago. i don't read anymore.
last movie you saw: moulin rouge. again.
last song you heard: well, Heart of Mine is on replay, but it's quiet. i guess the Tango Roxanne counts.
last time you showered: this morning
last thing you ate: slice of pizza. waiting for the rest to cool.
do you/have you?
smoke?: no
do drugs?: no
had sex?: no, whatever those who where there early last spring believe....
have a boyfriend?: no.. of course not... which is true.
have a dream that keeps coming back?: i don't dream that often anymore.
play an instrument?: i have a guitar. i haven't played it in months. i can't play anyway.
remember your first love?: yeh.
still love him/her?: first one? i guess not. not in that sense. aren't i a sad, fickle monkeywhore? i think i am. in fact i'm convinced i am.
read the newspaper?: no, too lazy. and people suck anyway. humans aren't pretty.
have any gay or lesbian friends: no! how dare you suggest it!
like the taste of alcohol?: ick.
have a favorite candy?: um... a few. Chocolate Raspberries, Maplesugar Candy and this one chocolate bar that they made in england a few years ago called Flake that i'm convinced no longer exist but i've had this CRAVING for it for years.... SO. GOOD.
believe in astrology?: no
believe in magic?: probably not. not in the classic definition of it.
believe in god?: i guess not.
have any secrets?: yeah.
have any pets: two cats.
talk to strangers who instant message you?: it usually doesn't happen. when it does and it seems like someone i should know, i check. if not, i ignore them.
wear hats?: never
have any piercings?: i hate needles
have any tattoos?: i hate needles
hate yourself?: sometimes
have an obsession?: yeah
have a secret crush?: not that you see us making out all the time. are people sick of that yet?
have a best friend?: i don't know. depends.
wish on stars?: i did a few times, years and years ago. i don't wish on anything now.
like your handwriting?: sometimes.
have any bad habits?: of course not.
care about looks?: not particularly
care about others' looks?: not really. should i? looks don't say that much.
believe in satan?: i believe in absolute evil. i see it all the time. but no, i don't believe in satan.
believe in ghosts?: maybe.