[Art Draft] One Piece - "Screw Off" (Lucci, Paulie) -- HALP?! Any improvement? Crit please! D=

[justira]

So, I've got an art-related question. Does anyone remember this drawing of Lucci and hungover Paulie? Well, I liked the idea a lot, but the execution was not that great. I've actually been drawing again this week, thanks in large part to having to get off my ass and try to kick-start ff_100 again.

Well, I'm trying to redraw the idea. Except, you know. Better. The problem is, I don't know if the new version is better than the old one. Can you guys help me out here?





So here is the old version:



It has a lot of anatomical flaws and, uh, if you actually think about it Lucci seems to be buried in the floor up to his shins or so. I really like the idea and the grumpy, messy atmosphere all the sketchy pencil lines gave this.

And here is the new version:



(Don't mind the unfinished hands, lack of background and Hattori, and, uh, other obviously not-done things >.>)

I tried to make the whole thing a little more interesting by getting rid of the straight profile and head-on shots. I also tried to fix some of the anatomical problems, and have rescued Lucci from the dastardly grip of the floor.

However... it feels like I lost something, too.

Is this any better?

I asked yaznall when I was home last night and he said that he liked the sketchiness and general feel of the old version better, and I think I agree. I can always make this new one messier (yay, pencil tool!), but I'm not sure if it's worth it. There's also that hangup I have where I feel that I can only nail a given expression once. Did I make enough things better? I think I can recapture the grunge if I try, but I'm not sure that I made the second version better enough to be worth it.

Any thoughts?

Plus, if I abandon this second version I can go draw my new obsession, Kratos from Tales fo Symphonia. Or finish regann's ff_100 thank-you-for-entering art. Or draw some Seifer/Zell to lure bottle_of_shine out of whatever hole she fell in to (where are you?).

... I was going to cleverly add "*is lazy*" after the bit about dropping this makeover project but then I got into my list of OTHER stuff I need to be doing and realized that no, I'm not lazy. It's more along the lines of irretrievably crazy with a side of off-and-on criminal lethargy.

Comments

[shuraiya.livejournal.com]

I KNOW WHAT YOU LOST! I KNOW WHAT IT IS!!! 8D!!!!

Dude, you HAVE to include Hattori in the new one, because he seriously makes the first one that much more hilarious. I always love drawings of Lucci looking agitated with Hattori admonishing whoever is pissing the pretty kitty off. XD

[justira.livejournal.com]

Oh, he'll be there! He's one of the unfinished things. I'm trying to sort out the bodies first and then add things like Hattori, Paulie's jacket and goggles, etc. THE MUG IS JUST THERE TO COVER UP PAULIE'S HAND oops did I scream that out loud?

All that stuff (Hattori, props, details, background) is actually already there, just very sketchy and crappy and in a layer I turned invisible for the purposes of showing the draft in public.

Anything besides Hattori? XD

*mutters* gotta add a note to this effect...

[muura.livejournal.com]

I think the second version is nicer, scetchy stuff is neat and all but clean lines just turn me on. Plus I like the added depth.

[justira.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I did try to give the whole thing a little more depth to make it mroe interesting, so I guess I'll put that in the plus column.

I know what you mean about clean linework, though. I'm such a messy sketcher, so when I see other people nailing things with just one line I'm just all kinds of da-yum! >.>

[shuraiya.livejournal.com]

XD Well, good then. I'm appeased.

I personally like the sketchiness of the first image MUCH more, but the new position of Paulie and Lucci's contrapposto in the second works a lot better.

[justira.livejournal.com]

Hmm, well, the idea was to improve the composition and anatomy, so if I did that okay, I can go back and try to get a little more of the messiness back in there. There will be another round of arteest woe and navel-gazing when I try to decide whether I want to keep cleaner lines or make it sketchy again =P

Thanks so much for the input!

[bottle-of-shine.livejournal.com]

I ACCEPT YOUR LURE.

PS: I like the second one best! :D

[justira.livejournal.com]

EXCELLENT. I will keep this in mind next time you disappear off the interwebs!

In case I disappear again, anything with Iceburg and Franky and/or Lucci; any combination of Jecht, Auron, and Braska; or AXEL/Roxas will work >.>

[snarkymonkey.livejournal.com]

I . . . actually prefer the rough, half-finished look of the first one. While the perspective makes it seem as though Lucci's right on top of Paulie, I think the style is the right mode. I like Lucci's stance more in the first one, for instance. His nonchalant hold on the jacket is more appealing as well.

Does that help?

[justira.livejournal.com]

The feedback is very helpful but the overall 50/50 opinion split from people who answered isn't XD

Thanks very much though for the detailed/specific observations. And dude, long time no see! How goes?

[snarkymonkey.livejournal.com]

It goes, it goes. =3

The book's done and the edits are on their way. Like the downslide now.

How's life going for you?

repost, ftw!

[regann]

I vote numbah 2!

And, um, I'm patient. :)

If you even finish it ever, you'd be doing better than most people because I believe that you and mebbe one other person has ever actually finished a gifty for me. Totally can't talk, I never finish any!

You know, sometimes I just take out my Jecht pic you drew and look at it and go, "Ah, Jecht! ♥ "

[justira.livejournal.com]

Oooh, the book is done? And there are edits? I could offer to helpw ith edits, maybe, if you'd like?

My life's going okay! I'm still out of school and working, but I'm taking a class at the local university this semester =)

Re: repost, ftw!

[justira.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the input!

And I'll finish your pic, I just, uh. Had a bout of low artistic self-confidence because it turned into this big lighting and colour experiment and I was doing a lot of woeful navel-gazing XD

There's still another person in line behind you, though so I gotta step it up next week =P

Jecht pic: aww, thanks ^^