(no subject)

[justira]

it seems i don't write very often anymore...

that is slightly silly, as i have so much... random shit going on.
usually i whine about it in lj in large amounts...
but lately, somehow not.
i still read my friends' entries... but i post comments this many often.

hm. still feeling of disconnectedness - people i felt connected to just a short while ago drifted away, and now new ones.
strange/predictable?
i wouldn't know.

been doing many thinking.
none of it going anywhere, really.

today, i was sleeping in the clinic during third. sheer and utter exhaustion.
had a dream that was very, very real.
i was awake, running around doing nonschool stuff.
then i realized that i had no memory between the time i remembered falling asleep at the clinic and (supposedly) waking up at home in my bed at around 9 in the evening.

*random shower break* time passes

i ignored that for a while, then thought about it more, then realized i was dreaming, but couldn't wake up.
and i got really, really scared.
eventually, forced myself awake.. to discover there was another girl in the bed opposite mine.
and then there was a party for the girl - lots of people in party hats and confetti. got a headache.
then Mrs. Hayes woke me up and told me Mr. Leaf wanted me back in class.
i checked the clock - half an hour.

that's twice in one dream i thought i was awake but wasn't.
makes me wonder about consciousness and such....

but yes.

entry having no point
oh well

relationships are strange
and here is something Sarah referenced to that i find rather... um... [insert cynically positive adjective]

Unfortunate Coincidence
By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying -
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.

heh. watch me be bitter...
i am 3 boysaredumbs bitter.
that's within this halfyear... weee.... i am slightly stupid.

*burning cd for sylvie* ... time passes

hm.

*continues burning cd* ... more time passes

hm. this entry is sortof going nowhere.

i hope i'm better today (for it is today and not tomorrow) than i was yesterday (which is really still today)

but whatever.

blah!

Comments

[justrachel.livejournal.com]

i dont think it is stupidity.
but im not sure of its name.
its when you think they are forever
but he doesnt think the same
but you just see what you want to see
you hear what they dont say
you follow where noboy leads.
Just escape, anyway.
and when its over, you look back
you smile and say, what fun
you thought you knew them,
swore you did,
but now you know.....no one.

[indigo.livejournal.com]

you're being bitter about boys while listening to a song about sex?

[justira.livejournal.com]

this many logical!

[flyboymike.livejournal.com]

There have beena couple times when I realized I was dreaming... I usually get very excited and try to influence my dream. However, this usually kicks off my conscious mind and I wake up. What was really disturbing was one where I had just flown an airplane in to attack someplace (iono where, but the airplane was a T-6 Texan) and I had a revolver out but when i was going to shoot the badguy, all that was there was my pointer finger, pointing like a gun. I tried to shoot but couldn't do it. Then, I finally get the revolver back, shoot, and it turns out i hit an innocent bystander... weird dream