[Make-Your-Own Meme] PET PHOTOS
Hey it's a post from that ridiculous/amazing/this is the worst idea/this is the best idea Make-Your-Own Meme "blog every day of November" thing! Original post/list of topics. Feel free to add more: LJ | DW — anon and openID welcome!
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seventhe: PHOTOS OF ALL THE PETS IN YOUR HOUSE (here)WARNING, LIKE SERIOUSLY: The following is an ACTUAL PHOTOSPAM. With thumbnails, but still. DON'T CLICK UNLESS YOU MEAN IT.
Got it? Got it. Let's go!
So! We (the partner and I) have four pets: three cats and a dog. I love basically all animals (and mammals in particular, though I also have a soft spot for snakes and birds) and totally do not buy into that thing where you have to be a dog or cat person. What EVER. Some people like one or the other, but it's no kind of dichotomy at all. I've always leaned slightly towards cats, myself, at least in terms of pets I actually want to have: cats are EASY. Dogs (AS I NOW KNOW VERY VERY WELL) require walks and attention and training and more training and grooming and basically it's like having a kid, which is like, not on my to-do list. Cats, on the other hand, are friendly but distant and take very little fuss and basically for someone totally lazy and non-caretaker-y like me, they are perfect. Also, they start out as kittens, which you just can't beat.
SADLY no kitten pictures of our cats remain online, relegated either to physical copies or lost in our series of computer crashes. That is okay though, they are still cute, I promise >.>
And now, without further ado, my pets!
(Fenris, Fender-bender, Fenny-poo, Sweetiebutt "GODDAMMIT CAT", "THAT IS NOT YOUR FOOD", Little Monster)
~5.7yrs, with us from 2005-08
Fenris comes first because he's easiest to explain. He's dumb and friendly and steals all our food and likes to knock shit over. He's also secretly a dog. He's named for his pretty colouring. That's pretty much Fenris.
He's the middle-oldest of the cats and has SEVERE middle-child syndrome. He's bratty in a hopeless, "WHY DON'T YOU LOOOOVVVEEE MEEEEE" kind of way and totally does things just to get attention. His favourite way of messing with us is to find something on a flat surface — preferably something with liquid or other spillable stuff inside it, like a glass of tea or a bag of candy. He will poke it once, with his paw, and look up to see if he has our attention. He does. Then he will poke it again, while staring us in the eye. This will have caused the object to be balanced at the edge of the flat surface. We go, NO, FENRIS, GODDAMMIT, and try to get up from wherever we are and run across to where he is— and just before we can reach him, he will give the thing an almighty WHAP and flee our wrath.
Then two minutes later he will trot up and be like, love me?
In this respect he is very much cat. In most others, he is a big, dumb, friendly dog. He is TREMENDOUSLY affectionate and his biggest weird dog habit is that he licks us. A LOT. Actually, he licks ANYBODY. If you pick him up and hold him to your face, he will lick your nose (unless you are visiting and we are trying to demonstrate this trait of his, in which case he will just stare into space). As a kitten, he actually gave himself a blister on his lower lip from licking too much. He licks the other cats CONSTANTLY (we call them makeout parties) and he licks us just as much (it's great knowing where that tongue has been), especially when trying to get us out of bed or when we're taking showers. By the way, he follows us into the shower. All three of the cats used to have this endearing habit of following us into the shower because they were SO WORRIED ABOUT US OMG ARE YOU OKAY THERE'S WATER IN THERE. They would stalk around the edge of the bathtub and paw worriedly at the curtain, occasionally falling in to great hilarity. Fenris is the only one who has retained this habit, and minds water a lot less than he should. Licking shower-water off us is his favourite thing in the world, apparently.
He also has a big dumb friendly dog tail, capable of clearing a coffee table in a single swipe.
He is also just... really dumb. He is so dumb.
Fun fact: he has this habit of trying to stick his head inside all of our cups/mugs/glasses? He wants to see what's inside and maybe have some. Except his big dumb head (he really has a rather large head) can't fit. So he gets FRUSTRATED when he can't fit his head inside things and knocks them over. Thanks, Fenris.
Fenris also likes all my favourite foods, including edamame, strawberries, and peanuts, all of which he tries to steal from me.
Fenris loves hampers and paper bags. He is too dumb and easygoing to hate anything.
(Xerx, Xerxamus, Xerxapus, Fang-face, "Xerox" for my family that can't pronounce "Xerxes", The Little General, Little Monster)
~5.5yrs old, with us from 2005-08
Xerxes is the youngest of the cats, and the undisputed king of
Xerxes is a runt. We named him Xerxes because we thought it would be cute to name this runty eager little cat after a great general-king. Except then he grew into the name.
Xerxes is a clever little bugger. As a runt, he is perpetually somewhat kitten-shaped, and he uses this to his advantage. Most of the time (and especially around strangers), he has his "I am so cute!" disguise on. Then, when you are not paying attention, the disguise drops to reveal the face of cunning and guile.
I am seriously, seriously not kidding. My partner's mom actually watched it happen, once, catching him at it, and I am SO GLAD she did because otherwise no one believes us.
We first knew we were in trouble with him when they were all kittens and Fenris was chasing him around the house. Xerxes led the chase into a corner with an end table in it. Then, right before reaching the end table, Xerxes just leapt straight up into the air and let Fenris careen on beneath him and crash into the corner. Xerxes landed and walked calmly away. Basically? He pulled a Crazy Ivan, neat as you please. (He was about 2 months old. He took naps INSIDE OUR SHOES.)
This is Xerxes.
As a runt, his body shape is also a little weird — right now he's fat and kind of pear-shaped, and he will always be fat; it's just how he is. But the weight is distributed in such a way that it makes us think the deal is that his skeleton is just smaller than it was supposed to be, and that if he had grown to his full size, he would have been a really big, stout cat.
Xerxes does not actually care about our wants, needs, or wishes. He wants attention now, and he will hear none of your excuses. He appropriates laps. (Actually, for such a large cat, he's a very light touch with the leaping — he is EXTREMELY coordinated.) When he does not demand immediate lap-petting, he ignores us.
Xerxes likes to roll onto his back and just lie there belly-up. He does this constantly.
Fun fact: Xerxes' fangs are too big for his mouth. They stick out a little bit at all times:
Xerxes also likes to lick plastic. A LOT.
Xerxes likes laps and bare feet. He is deeply offended by shoes and shod feet especially.
(Sal, Salvamador, Sally-boy, ya wet blanket, STOP SCRATCHING THAT, Little Monster)
~6yrs, with us since 2005-08
Salvador is the one we didn't mean to get but just... yeah. We made arrangements to pick up Xerx and Fenris, but when we arrived to get them, there was this new cat there, a very sleek black catten. We picked him up (WHY DID WE PICK HIM UP) and he just melted against us.
And then ACCIDENTALLY OUR CAT.
He's named Sal because he is extremely melty and floppy. He has no muscle tension whatsoever and will actually spill/flow out of your arms if you don't make an effort to contain him: he is made of liquid.
Salvador is also extremely friendly, but in a completely different way from Fenris. Fenris does not actually care whether YOU want to be friends, and if Fenris isn't in the mood, he will shove your face away and kick you and basically be a brat. Sal, on the other hand, is always up for a cuddle. He is an amazing cuddler and will lie next to you, draped in/across your arms/lap, happily purring away for hours.
Until something startles him or he gets one of his nightmares, in which case he will use your face as a launching pad. I have many scars.
You see, Sal is also EXTREMELY high-strung. He's very nervy and is also definitely at the bottom of the cat hierarchy around these parts. He's kind of a loner, too, though that makes sense given his age — Xerx and Fenris were relatively close in age, while Sal was already approaching cattenhood when we got them.
Fun fact: Sal used to go on patrol around the apartment. ALL. NIGHT. He would tour around all the windows, and sound the all-clear every five minutes upon completion of his circuit using his fine, incredibly loud, incredibly high-pitched voice.
All. Night.
Also? He won't eat people food, not even meat.
Salvador likes the spot in front of the computer/on the keyboard, and dislikes anything startling, which is pretty much everything.
(Ozzie, Ozzbutt, Butt-butt, The Butt, Fuzz-face, Puppyface, Puppybutt)
Ozzie, being the only pupface in residence, gets ONGOING NARRATION!
Ozzbutt the Puppy
Please note the unevenly flopped ears and the incredible hamster-butt.
We got Ozzie in late October of 2009, and he was born in August. He's the only one here who wasn't a rescue, which I had to think very hard about. But neither the partner nor I had ever owned a dog before, and so we're complete novices and for us the predictability of a breed dog was important.
... Of course, then we got a corgi.
Ozzie is well. He is just a CORGI, okay? He's a hyperactive, friendly, neurotic drama queen of the first order and loves everything and everybody.
Witness now the amazing transition from young pup... to young adult dog:
Cracks me up every time. That's unstaged by the way, just two random pics that turned out well as a pair.
We really tried to do well by Ozzbutt, and we're told he came out pretty good, especially for a first-dog. I attribute this more to Ozzie being really smart and knowing that we'll spoil him with treats if he'll just charm us by rolling over. He does get a little bratty, but he's still young, and we're hoping that if we keep steadily onwards, he'll grow out of it. Mostly, we just have a lot of fun. Here he is as a young adult:
And I'm sorry, but I HAVE to have the obligatory dumb corgi HERP DERP faces:
(god I look tired)
And here are some size comparisons (relative to me), ranging from just days after we got him to a month or so after, to present day (taken just a few hours ago!)
AND OF COURSE THE OBLIGATORY BUNNY-BUTT PICTURES:
And now! Group pictures!
Three kitties together!
The three kitties with me...
... and with the partner
But they don't often all hang out together like that. Usually they're alone, as cats are wont to be, or they pair off with Fenris, because Fenris loves EVERYBODY. Usually Fenris and Xerx are busy causing trouble or making out somewhere (sadly, no action shots):
But Fenris and Sal get along fine, too:
Sal and Xerx don't really get along, but there's no enmity there — they're just not interested in having anything to do with each other.
Fenris is also the friendliest with the pup (though currently all of the cats are pretty annoyed with the pup, as he suddenly got very big and does not yet understand that they don't like being squished). He makes for a handy size comparison, too. These shots are from days after the puppy's arrival, then a month or two later, and then with Ozz more or less grown. I especially like the transition between the second two:
And finally, all of them together!
dinnertime chez ira!
Also, please note that all of my pets are trained to accept and enjoy belly rubs, because *I* enjoy belly rubs. End of story.
And that's everyone! Four pets, and as much as a handful as I can handle right now.
But honestly? If I didn't have to like, go to work and earn monies and use up 90% of my spoons every day just sustaining our household? I would totally have a ranch with:
- several cats
- several dogs
- a horsie
- a pony (I adore ponies; they are smart and clever and hardy and stubborn)
- a pygmy goat (I love goats and I freaking adore pygmy goats)
- a snake (who would have to be fed by my partner, as I would not be able to handle it)
- several ferrets
- a couple birds
- a fennec fox
- several otters
- some alpacas
=D
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Also, have a picture of a pygmy goat, since I can't remember if I've showed you this before.
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THIS IS MAERZEN FUCKING OLIVER, AT YOUR SERVICE.
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My asshole cat also does the pushing objects off tables while watching for a reaction thing, though he likes to aim for small, shiny objects that will be lost forever under the sofa. He also drinks out of my water glasses or, when he's not thirsty, just dips his paw in the water to stake his claim.
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LIKE I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY, JUST EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE <3<3<3
OMG I WANT A FENNEC FOX ALSO
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But seriously, awwh. :3
ALSO DUDE! If you would permit some sheep and brooding fowl, I would so invest in this ranch.