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[Fic] FFX - SPACE ADVENTURES (Auron, Braska, Jecht)
Title: SPACE ADVENTURES
Fandom: Final Fantasy X
Theme: (HUGE TA-TA's) IN SACE at ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
ff_100
Characters/Pairings: Auron, Braska, Jecht, bit of implied slashing of the three.
Rating: PG? PG-13?
Warnings: CRACK AU AHOY. Maybe light spoilers?
Words: 152 + 238 + 177 = 567
Crit/Feedback: I lurves it, even on COMPLETE CRACK like this.
Notes: This can be blamed entirely on two people:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
delladella for posting the CRACKTASTIC THEME at ff_100, and bottle_of_shine for coming up with the idea of SPACE PIRATE JECHT and then not having the time to write it herself. More notes and apologies below.
Summary: Auron, Braska, and Jecht, unwitting space pirates searching for the lost planet Zanarkand! Includes encounters with shoopufs, spittakes, and mention of HUGE TA-TA's IN SPACE!
The Mi'ihen Gate was closing — too fast, the Zanarkand wasn't going to make it — damn that drunken convict!
"Jecht, I TOLD you not to anger the shoopuf!" Auron roared.
"What?" Jecht yelled back at him over the roar of the straining pyrefly drive and whistle of their air being sucked out through the shoopuf-foot-shaped hole in the Zanarkand's hull. The idiot had a fool, berserk grin plastered over his face, teeth bared and eyes glinting. He was enjoying this!
"The SHOOPUF, Jecht!"
"It was menacing me!"
Auron blinked incredulously. "Shoopufs are the most docile creatures in the Spiran aether! They— they—" Auron sputtered. "The handlers are chasing us through the Mi'ihen Star Roads like some kind of pirates—"
"We're through!" Braska's voice rang over the comm system.
Jecht whooped. Auron groaned and glared at Jecht, shoving the heavy square of repair metal harder than was entirely necessary to seal it.
__________________________
Jecht paid the Hypello barman and looked around for Auron.
The prude was sulking in a dark corner by the door. Jecht made his way across the crowded floor with their drinks. Auron was too busy moaning and groaning to notice him. Ha.
He gave Auron a hearty slap on the shoulder. "Man, Auron, you need to get out more!"
Jecht laughed as Auron glared at him. He quaffed his drink, then grinned and raised an eyebrow when Auron, after staring at the mug Jecht had shoved under his nose for long enough, uncharacteristically took a sip.
"We're only here because you claimed to have some kind of shady contact from 'back in your blitzing days' and no decent merchants will deal with us now that those shoopuf herders have put out a reward for us. We're pirates because of you. Braska's good name is ruined."
Jecht privately though that in the eyes of these stuffy Spirans there wasn't much ruining left to be done after the former priest had run off with an Al Bhed. These people had the weirdest hang-ups.
He watched Braska make his way back from the opposite side of the saloon, looked back and forth between his captain and Auron making morose doe-eyes at him.
"What you need to do is stop mooning over Braska and get laid."
Auron spat his drink out all over the table just as Braska came within range.
__________________________
Braska stared at the ceiling over his bunk in the Zanarkand and smiled.
He could hear what had woken him: Auron and Jecht whispering fiercely below.
"—say such things about our captain—"
"—like he would have minded, and besides, some of those barmaids had great knockers, I coulda seen you upstairs and then snuck down to give the gravity generator a kick, I hear it's great in zero—"
"—not the point! It's you and your drinking and your—"
"—come off it—"
"—pirates—"
He looked again at the strong, study girders of their ship. Al Bhed make, a reconciliation gift from Cid. He hadn't named it until after he decided to leave Bevelle. He'd seen the look in Jecht's eyes when he'd christened it after the lost planet they hoped to find. He'd seen Auron see it, too. And as the whispered argument below him wound to a close...
"Je—mpf!"
"Oh don't be such a prude!"
... he smiled, and slid quietly down out of his bunk.
--
End.
A/N: SRSLY, BLAME NAY AND DELLA. They started it >.>
I wrote this to JUST in time catch the posting deadline for the week atff_100. I'd been staring at the clock and around half an hour befor the deadline, I realized, "OH MY GOD I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO DO THIS."
This is my first foray into crack or humour or any kind, mostly because I'm convinced that I fail at both. However, I had a TON of fun with this.
Oh god, I think I might write an entire AU on this theme >.>
x-post:ff_100, my journal.
Fandom: Final Fantasy X
Theme: (
ff_100Characters/Pairings: Auron, Braska, Jecht, bit of implied slashing of the three.
Rating: PG? PG-13?
Warnings: CRACK AU AHOY. Maybe light spoilers?
Words: 152 + 238 + 177 = 567
Crit/Feedback: I lurves it, even on COMPLETE CRACK like this.
Notes: This can be blamed entirely on two people:
delladella for posting the CRACKTASTIC THEME at ff_100, and bottle_of_shine for coming up with the idea of SPACE PIRATE JECHT and then not having the time to write it herself. More notes and apologies below.Summary: Auron, Braska, and Jecht, unwitting space pirates searching for the lost planet Zanarkand! Includes encounters with shoopufs, spittakes, and mention of HUGE TA-TA's IN SPACE!
The Mi'ihen Gate was closing — too fast, the Zanarkand wasn't going to make it — damn that drunken convict!
"Jecht, I TOLD you not to anger the shoopuf!" Auron roared.
"What?" Jecht yelled back at him over the roar of the straining pyrefly drive and whistle of their air being sucked out through the shoopuf-foot-shaped hole in the Zanarkand's hull. The idiot had a fool, berserk grin plastered over his face, teeth bared and eyes glinting. He was enjoying this!
"The SHOOPUF, Jecht!"
"It was menacing me!"
Auron blinked incredulously. "Shoopufs are the most docile creatures in the Spiran aether! They— they—" Auron sputtered. "The handlers are chasing us through the Mi'ihen Star Roads like some kind of pirates—"
"We're through!" Braska's voice rang over the comm system.
Jecht whooped. Auron groaned and glared at Jecht, shoving the heavy square of repair metal harder than was entirely necessary to seal it.
Jecht paid the Hypello barman and looked around for Auron.
The prude was sulking in a dark corner by the door. Jecht made his way across the crowded floor with their drinks. Auron was too busy moaning and groaning to notice him. Ha.
He gave Auron a hearty slap on the shoulder. "Man, Auron, you need to get out more!"
Jecht laughed as Auron glared at him. He quaffed his drink, then grinned and raised an eyebrow when Auron, after staring at the mug Jecht had shoved under his nose for long enough, uncharacteristically took a sip.
"We're only here because you claimed to have some kind of shady contact from 'back in your blitzing days' and no decent merchants will deal with us now that those shoopuf herders have put out a reward for us. We're pirates because of you. Braska's good name is ruined."
Jecht privately though that in the eyes of these stuffy Spirans there wasn't much ruining left to be done after the former priest had run off with an Al Bhed. These people had the weirdest hang-ups.
He watched Braska make his way back from the opposite side of the saloon, looked back and forth between his captain and Auron making morose doe-eyes at him.
"What you need to do is stop mooning over Braska and get laid."
Auron spat his drink out all over the table just as Braska came within range.
Braska stared at the ceiling over his bunk in the Zanarkand and smiled.
He could hear what had woken him: Auron and Jecht whispering fiercely below.
"—say such things about our captain—"
"—like he would have minded, and besides, some of those barmaids had great knockers, I coulda seen you upstairs and then snuck down to give the gravity generator a kick, I hear it's great in zero—"
"—not the point! It's you and your drinking and your—"
"—come off it—"
"—pirates—"
He looked again at the strong, study girders of their ship. Al Bhed make, a reconciliation gift from Cid. He hadn't named it until after he decided to leave Bevelle. He'd seen the look in Jecht's eyes when he'd christened it after the lost planet they hoped to find. He'd seen Auron see it, too. And as the whispered argument below him wound to a close...
"Je—mpf!"
"Oh don't be such a prude!"
... he smiled, and slid quietly down out of his bunk.
--
End.
A/N: SRSLY, BLAME NAY AND DELLA. They started it >.>
I wrote this to JUST in time catch the posting deadline for the week at
ff_100. I'd been staring at the clock and around half an hour befor the deadline, I realized, "OH MY GOD I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO DO THIS."This is my first foray into crack or humour or any kind, mostly because I'm convinced that I fail at both. However, I had a TON of fun with this.
Oh god, I think I might write an entire AU on this theme >.>
x-post:
ff_100, my journal.
no subject
More, more more more!
Jecht doesn't seem any different. Heck, none of them do. And now I'm imagining some sort of weird fusion of Braska and Captain Picard...
This is just plain fun.
Um.
Er.
What's a TA-TA? O.o
no subject
Thanks for the comment, and for letting me know they sound okay. AUs are so weird, I couldn't tell if I was doing okay by their characters! >.>
And, uh. It seems I have already begun hatching an actual plot for an AU along these lines, so there's a good chance of more XD
Ta-tas are breasts. Della probably suggested it first because they are some of FFX's more, um. Obvious assets.