(no subject)

[justira]

... not coherent. feeling weak.

and why am i really and truly suddenly, out of nowhere, feeling very tired and sad?
all of a sudden weighed-down.

strange.
mindnumbing.

i made someone happy today =)
this pleases me greatly.
not locally, but remotely.

or something.

sleep, i think.

this child really needs school to end.
because school makes her severely unhappy.

because the math teachers are collectively bitches.
and now i get another full year, maybe another three years, of everyday reminders of how i've managed to screw up my life.

in other words, my math teachers wouldn't let me test out of precalc because my brain chemicals are screwed over, i can't sleep at home and therefore do it in class, and i'm a slacker.
i've always been a slacker. i was just a slacker who got excellent grades before she got depressed.

... i suck.
this depresses me even more.
how do i let things like this matter so much to me?

dammit.

stupid, STUPID.
can't i function and be depressed somewhere where it doesn't affect my future?

okay, dumb question.

whatever. i'm getting a headache and i feel ick.

sleep.