justira | (no subject)

it is somehow strange to feel lost again.

i've accepted the fact that Depression Is. and that it'll happen to me then and again. and that i'll just have to deal.

i guess i overestimate myself there.

well, at least i've stopped myself every time i've gotten up to go find a sharp something tonight.

how strange it is to see echoes, reflections, images of you in someone else. how strange.
how strange it is to not know what you feel.

how strange it is to be lost again and still not be familiar with the place.

when the night grows dark / or the day too long / and you know you lost your gods /so long ago / how strange it is / to watch it happening again / how strange it is / how strange it is / and how you know / for sure you're lost forever / lost forever once again / how strange it is

something or other. not particularly expressive oh how i feel. just some random blah to spew forth from my head. ow.

something i have asked before:
why does talking to Mommy Dearest always make me feel like shit?

i will... be dead when she finds the D on my report card.

i am slightly confused but notatall surprised at myself.
and on a different subject, i am more than a little confused and very surprised at self.

bah.

i make sense, really.

i think i maybe have given up on trying to express daytoday feelings on lj.

tomorrow... will be.
and tonight a i can't sleep.
it's 1:00.

i am tired as hell somewhere really deep inside. but i don't want to close my eyes. i don't want to lie down. maybe i should sneak out of house and go to the wood........

maybe.

i like the night.

i make no sense.

wake me up tomorrow when i fall asleep in some corner. please.

Ben, have you talked to Zack yet? *memory blank*

when did i start being this goddamn tired?
Othello drained me so completely. damn.
but what about before?

i don't know.

Lindsey. need to talk.

*hugs* to all.