justira | my computer is on crack. it's not 12:38. it's 12:00.

Rosie was making me sleep, for which i'm grateful, but i wanted to post first...

i had many random thoughts today... wrote in "paperjournal" (random looseleaf paper) in english.

there are days when you feel one day closer to death
there are days when you feel one day farther from your own birth
there are days when you feel that you have not moved at all
and there are days when you feel that you aren't anywhere....

i... am thinking i may be happy sometime. this won't last forever. i'll get over it eventually, especially if i try and listen to what my friends tell me...

yeah...
suicide... Lindsey mentioned "being too much of a wuss to go through with it," something along those lines.
hell. that's me.
that one struck home.

wow... i think i may be okay... that i can pull my life back together.

i want to write something about hope, how it hurts and how it's worth it anyway, something about friends caring and troupe not dying...

but i am so tired... so drained. i need rest. not just sleep - rest.

dear gods, but i do think i may love something....

i love my friends. every single one of them.

and i love what they keep alive - each other, the faith, and troupe.

i am non coherent. and i care not the slightest.

for the life of me / i cannot believe / we'd ever die for these sins / we were only freshmen...

for some reason, this song makes me believe....

dear god but do i love the world!

i don't care what i say when i'm depressed, but when i'm not too blind to see it... you are all beautiful, you are all precious, and unique, and wonderful. every single one of you. and i love you all.

oh please won't you dance to life with me?

my computer is on crack. it's not 12:38. it's 12:00.

madam, may i have this dance?

Hey!

no subject