Argh, I began a response and then I lost it. If anything doesn't follow in what I say now, poke me with a sharp stick. Haha.
I think even within Britain, I'm expecting a bit too much of people in general. Looking at it now, I realise how different my experience is to people who I know come from areas without high populations of British Muslims. I was raised in a mixed environment: British Hindu next door, Welsh family, one of my closest friends was Turkish, the girl I spent most of my schooldays with was a British Muslim, and then, of course, there was the English. And I was raised by someone who deals with the effects of a culture clash every. single. day.
I know one of my best friends, much as I love her, has probably never spoken to a British Muslim, unless one drove her taxi or took her money in a supermarket. I... feel like my parents raised me to examine my own bias without really teaching me about how bias is ingrained in other people. For a long, long time, I was under the impression that everybody in My Enlightened Generation felt the way I did (despite evidence to the contrary re: how I was treated by the English). I feel that's translated into the way I've spoken about this, and I've expected everyone to... well, decide I'm a special snowflake.
Man, I don't even know if the "gypsies" example translates. There's a tendency to think of them as filthy, thieves, unable to keep work, sucking up resources that "normal" British people deserve more, law-breaking. There's little recognition that "gypsy" might mean some kind of subculture, it's assumed that people are simply gypsies because they're "too lazy" to be "normal".
The fun thing is that my mum does still have her assumptions -- particularly about sexuality, the English, and Americans. Which I point out to her. I do not suggest for an instant that she is a paragon of virtue!
I guess what I want to say is that if I remain true to the way I was raised, I can't really discuss race at all. My response would be to shrug my shoulders and say, no, I don't know. That doesn't leave me with room for my own opinions on the matter, which is I guess where I clash with myself. It also kind of leaves me feeling that, well, you don't know either. Your opinion, your experience, is not the be all and end all, whether you are white or not.
I think I've been trying to apply my own personal feelings to the whole debate, and it doesn't work. I can say "if everyone thought like me it'd be fine" until I'm blue in the face, but everyone won't think like me, and people don't have to think like me. It's all very well to, on a personal level, say "I don't take any account of skin colour", but a) people won't believe that because they can't see inside my head and heart, and b) they're right not to believe it because people say it and don't mean it literally.
I believe I do mean it literally, but I can't prove it, and the more I protest, the less honest it seems.
no subject
I think even within Britain, I'm expecting a bit too much of people in general. Looking at it now, I realise how different my experience is to people who I know come from areas without high populations of British Muslims. I was raised in a mixed environment: British Hindu next door, Welsh family, one of my closest friends was Turkish, the girl I spent most of my schooldays with was a British Muslim, and then, of course, there was the English. And I was raised by someone who deals with the effects of a culture clash every. single. day.
I know one of my best friends, much as I love her, has probably never spoken to a British Muslim, unless one drove her taxi or took her money in a supermarket. I... feel like my parents raised me to examine my own bias without really teaching me about how bias is ingrained in other people. For a long, long time, I was under the impression that everybody in My Enlightened Generation felt the way I did (despite evidence to the contrary re: how I was treated by the English). I feel that's translated into the way I've spoken about this, and I've expected everyone to... well, decide I'm a special snowflake.
Just an example, but. My parents never particularly stopped me from reading anything. But I do recall, on various occasions, my mum taking note of whatever book I was reading, and then asking me about it. I remember some book had a cliché stereotypical view of gypsies, which I swallowed whole. When my mum asked me about it, and I explained what I thought gypsies were like, she said, "Never say that again, ever." I'm not sure I ever did fully understand the issues of gypsies, but I knew that I did not understand.
Man, I don't even know if the "gypsies" example translates. There's a tendency to think of them as filthy, thieves, unable to keep work, sucking up resources that "normal" British people deserve more, law-breaking. There's little recognition that "gypsy" might mean some kind of subculture, it's assumed that people are simply gypsies because they're "too lazy" to be "normal".
The fun thing is that my mum does still have her assumptions -- particularly about sexuality, the English, and Americans. Which I point out to her. I do not suggest for an instant that she is a paragon of virtue!
I guess what I want to say is that if I remain true to the way I was raised, I can't really discuss race at all. My response would be to shrug my shoulders and say, no, I don't know. That doesn't leave me with room for my own opinions on the matter, which is I guess where I clash with myself. It also kind of leaves me feeling that, well, you don't know either. Your opinion, your experience, is not the be all and end all, whether you are white or not.
I think I've been trying to apply my own personal feelings to the whole debate, and it doesn't work. I can say "if everyone thought like me it'd be fine" until I'm blue in the face, but everyone won't think like me, and people don't have to think like me. It's all very well to, on a personal level, say "I don't take any account of skin colour", but a) people won't believe that because they can't see inside my head and heart, and b) they're right not to believe it because people say it and don't mean it literally.
I believe I do mean it literally, but I can't prove it, and the more I protest, the less honest it seems.