Right so, I don't tend to talk on my journal about my life much. But I feel like I have been the hugest flake lately, and I feel like I owe an explanation and apology. So here's what's been up.
- From late last year through early this year me and/or my partner have suffered a number of personal losses. This wasn't really a very awesome time.
- A variety of health problems — physical, mental, and emotional — have been getting steadily worse. I'm working on it, but it takes many, many spoons. I might post about this in more detail at some point, if only because it's of interest in a disability activism sense.
This past week, in the order in which I learned these facts:
- My family has poured three years of time and money (every weekend and many weekdays) into building their dream house out near a lake, roping in many friends(' time and money) and, often, me. They are now, due to a combination of recession and bad financial decisions, being forced to sell the dream house in a desperate bid to avoid bankruptcy. They spent $1.2 million
making it — this is outside of the mortgage on the land, so even if they manage to sell it with enough to repay the loan, they will be taking a $1.2 million LOSS. Please note: my parents are not and never have been millionaires; they're upper middle class at best and they burned through their retirement money for this house. I am emotionally very upset for
them and financially very upset with
them and am currently acting as a safety net.
- My parents are divorcing! Amicably. Turns out my mom isn't bi, she's a lesbian. Oops. Good on her realizing and claiming it. This is turbulent but not bad news, except! I have two MUCH younger sisters. I'm in my mid-twenties, they're in grade school. I also feel terrible for my father.
- My maternal grandpa, who lives and works in Denmark, possibly had stomach cancer, during which harrowing time waiting (alone, because my grandma was busy having temper tantrums in Russia) on his results (in Danish, which he doesn't speak), he realized that while he has been in denial of it for years, my grandma is, indeed, crazy. Please note that I use the term advisedly, in its serious and clinical sense. She has dementia and is (and has been since before the dementia) a dangerous, toxic menace to our family; I cannot describe how deeply that woman has screwed over my mom, me, and my sisters. So now my grandpa feels guilty. This plus the stomach cancer scare (which turns out negative... eventually) has sent him into a deep depression. He's now on meds and refuses to leave Denmark and is determined to care for my deeply selfish and steadily less sane grandma. Alone.
- My parents' junky cars have all broken down in quick succession save one. They work very far apart, have two kids still living with them, and public transport here is balls and a half. Also, they currently have no money (see above). So... I'm giving them my (only) car... tomorrow! My commitment to the environment has suddenly intensified. Hello, cheapo bike I bought today. You and I will be great friends.
So... yeah. Those are the major things. There's also a disparate collection of personal, relationship, and work stresses. I'm not sure I'm handling everything as well as I could be, but I'm trying. For my missteps, I'm sorry.Daily Doodle
: Without further ado, Nick expresses my feelings on the past few months, which can be summed up as follows:
SERIOUSLY, LIFE?? SERIOUSLY?
This is basically a de-sprite of one of my favourite expressions of his, seen in this animation
. [image credit to the most excellent Court Records
, but hosted on my own server]
Time: 10 mins?( Daily Doodle: Ace Attorney - Nick Seriously )