Hey so! Time to re-evaluate!

The deal: I have done 400 daily doodles. That is 400 days (WHAT) of producing drawings every day — some pretty damn terrible, some I'm even a little proud of. It's about time to think hard about this project, and what I want to do with it, and with myself.

Thoughts on any of the below are very welcome! Just fyi, I'm quite frank about my various mental and emotional issues; these are not cries for sympathy, just facts of life. I plan to be even more frank in the future, actually. Get used to it? Anyway! I welcome feedback on the project as it has been, and on these evaluations and plans. Anything, really.

Self-Evaluating Babble Part the First: Arting )

So, in terms of technique, I've improved a little, but I think it's time to stop focusing on that as much; it might salve my perfectionist tendencies, but it bruises my spirit.

Now for the other things this project has improved! I almost never get nauseous when posting art in public anymore! YAY?

Self-Evaluating Babble Part the Second: NO ONE IS JUDGING YOU IRA LET IT GO )

On that score: success! Or as successful as I will likely ever allow myself to be. It's still a disaster with fic, including when I give betas my first drafts (VOMIT). But even that is a bit less of a disaster than it was, thanks to my short-lived writing meme and in part to some infectious cross-contamination from the doodle thing. Yay! Ish.


Those are the good parts.

The bad news is that this project has stunted a lot of other stuff!

Self-Evaluating Babble Part the Third: Single-Mindedness Somehow Not Always a Good Thing, STORY AT ELEVEN )

I do have a lot of trouble convincing myself that I'm stopping something because it's healthy, because it's a good idea — rather than because I'm giving up, because I'm weak and flighty and can't stick to anything. I'm still working very hard to keep telling myself that just because I am tired doesn't mean I'm quitting due to tired — that just because I WANT something doesn't make it the wrong choice.

So. With help from the ever-understanding and logical and awesome [personal profile] owlmoose, I'm scrapping the current doodle project.

I don't want to give up the daily discipline of creativity and self-improvement. But I want to focus on other things, and nurture creative urges as they come, instead of trying to haul a team of unconscious bears upstream. And I want to finally get to work on some more serious, longer-term works.

Here we go, then. The new project.

  • Do something creative every day.
    • I don't have to finish something every day, as long as I put in some type of creative work on some project.
    • I don't have to post something every day (your reading/friends lists may rejoice!) but I do have to keep track of my progress — weekly posts, maybe?
    • Can be writing, drawing, vidding — anything that exercises, craft, skill, or creativity. (PS: did you know that I am a vidder? Just a scared, amateur, unpublished one.)
  • Drawing Goals:
    • Go back and finish, or start from scratch and finish, one polished work per month.
    • Practice colouring every week. Don't have to finish a colour a week, just practice at least a little each week.
  • Writing Goals:
    • Produce a first/beta draft of [unit] every month as long as there are any projects on the docket. It can be a chapter draft of a long work, or a draft of a one-shot.
    • Write at least 1,000 words every week. Editing doesn't count (I do that easily enough on my own) but outlining does — I've discovered I'm terrible at outlining and getting ideas off the ground, so I need to work on that and learn!
  • Other Creative Stuff Goals:
    • Produce a vid draft every two months
    • Produce one complete cosplay every six months
    • Produce one [unit] of work on an original project every two months (overall outline, single chapter detailed outline, single chapter draft, etc.)
  • Also: produce one serious business post a month (it's not like I have a lack of thoughts and topic; just of energy and confidence).
  • Do not consider self a failure if you don't meet any of these goals

There is a LOT of "what a shame" feeling at letting go of a 400-day streak. But I think that feeling is getting in the way of better goals. So, here it is, the death of the daily doodle. Many thanks to everyone who helped, commented, encouraged; and particular thanks to [personal profile] renay for prodding me into it in the first place.

Thoughts are! Vey very welcome =D Suggestions as well! Resources for vidding! Or cosplaying! Arting tips! Writing tips! Exclamations of thanks for sparing your reading lists! Etc =P

My biggest problem? NO CATCHY NAME

I suggested "Quotidian Creativity" but [personal profile] renay may or may not have laughed at me >.>
Daily Doodle: So this is daily doodle #400. Four hundred days, man. I meant to celebrate it with something elaborate, but with computer death all I have is Paint. Tomorrow, I have a post about it.

For now, I celebrate with what's meaningful rather than fancy: my first two fandoms. Pokemon and DBZ. Way back when, guys. Way back when. I used to be able to draw both these dudes from memory (from the front, no less); and I often DID, all over my notes in elementary and middle school.
Time: 20 mins

Daily Doodle: 400 Doodles - Thanks That Was Fun )

ETA: Barenaked Ladies - Thanks That Was Fun
@[livejournal.com profile] ff_press: [FFT] [personal profile] justira: Male Dancer doodle (G)

Daily Doodle: So in my various job class porn doodles I tend to try to play with gender expectations a bit, which I find fun. I've noticed a disturbing tendency, though, to much more frequently give women awesome male jobs and much less of giving men awesome female jobs. This is bad. The feminine is, apparently, terrible — it's okay for women to do manly things, but not for men to do lady things, because girls are icky.

So, lets try to not do that! This here is a male Dancer. slight gameplay spoilers for FFT )

Anyway. Male Dancer. I tried not to man the costume up too much. He still has a skirt, but I love the Bard's shoes too much, so he's wearing sandals that look like Bard shoes. He also has the Bard's hairstyle. As usual these days it's messy paint doodle, so don't expect too much.
Time: 20 mins?

Daily Doodle: FFT - Male Dancer  )
Daily Doodle: Super quick reffed sketch. Exhausted. Biking home through a storm would do that — don't get me wrong, it was fun. Just tiring.
Time: 1-2 mins

Daily Doodle: Shoulders )
@[livejournal.com profile] ff_press: [FFTA] [personal profile] justira: Viera White Monk (G)

Daily Doodle: So like said yesterday, before we were attacked by a chihuahua I meant to do a physical-class viera. Here she is. The White Monk is a bangaa(male)-only class that I loved pretty hard in FFTA. I tried to duplicate the pose as nearly as I could considering the wildly different anatomies. I'm not displeased but I'm not ecstatic, either, though that might just be because I am so very sleepy and when I was trying to nap cats kept landing on my face.
Time: 2-030 mins

Daily Doodle: FFTA - Viera White Monk (G) )
@[livejournal.com profile] ff_press: [FFTA2] [personal profile] justira: Viera Spellblade doodle (G)

Daily Doodle: I meant to do something gender-hierarchy-upsetting today — specifically I was going to take one of the delicate (all-female) viera classes and make a burly physical class (all male) out of it — but then there was an ATTACK CHIHUAHUA (you think I'm kidding) and that kind of sapped my energy from the day because I swear. This dog.

I was walking the Ozzbutt. It was dark. I saw this tiny (MINISCULE) fluffy animal in the distance. It was wandering around on its own, but it had tags, so I thought to check on it, make sure it was okay. I got a little closer and was convinced it was a kitten or maybe a very small cat. Ozzie was behaving very well, not barking or growling, just being attentive. Then I finally got close enough to realize, no, it was a very fluffy, very tiny chihuahua.


And there was this TERRIFYING FIGHT all while Ozzie was on his short-walk FOUR-FOOT LEAD so it was like RIGHT UNDER MY GODDAMN FEET and you know what?


It came away with CHUNKS OF OZZIE'S FUR and Ozz and I were like FUCK THIS SHIT and we backed away right fucking quick. The damn thing MENACED us until we were far enough out of its range.

Fucking attack chihuahua! What the fuck!

Honestly except for the FUCKING TERRIFYING part it felt like a goddamn random encounter from an rpg, you know, when you run into one of those IMPOSSIBLY harmless-looking things and then is effing MURDERS you and you are like holy fuck and RUN THE HELL AWAY.

As far as I know, the chihuahua wasn't sick (other than being GODDAMN MEAN it was acting just fine). So hopefully the ozzbutt will be okay. But seriously. Jesus Christ.

Attack. Chihuahua.

Soooooo instead of overturning the patriarchy I drew a spellblade bust while attempting to bring it closer to the FF12 style of viera instead of the Tactics ones. The end.
Time: 10-15 mins

Daily Doodle: FFTA2 - Viera Spellblade )

ETA: Is it just me or did it end up looking kind of like an Ashe-viera?
Daily Doodle: GUYS I AM EXCITED BEYOND WORDS for the sequel to Avatar: The Last Airbender. GUYS. It's a female protagonist FROM THE WATER TRIBE (meaning a female, Inuit-based lead! GUYS!!!!) and it's STEAMPUNK and she KICKS ASS and I LOVE HER ALREADY. I wish I had something other than MS Paint and a whole lot of tired with which to pay this awesome lady tribute but I TRIED AND HAD FUN. Is this the first Korra fanart on the internets? WHO KNOWS. Probably not! (HINT: IF YOU SEE OTHERS— POINT ME)

Anyway uh.

Basically the only way they could improve on this pitch is if there were queer main characters (I would DIE if Korra were queer!) and also more badass/awesome old ladies. The original series was painfully heterocentrist and had a preponderance of awesome old dudes, but almost no positive old ladies. (Old dudes = venerable and wise; old ladies = ewwwww why do you still exist??) Though I do give points for Kana's late-life romance (yay!).

On that subject, while I was squeeing, [personal profile] owlmoose pointed out that given the sequel's timeline EFFING TOPH could very well exist as a badass old lady in this show and SHE WOULD BE THE BEST AND BADASSEST OLD LADY EVER OMG and I am keeping everything crossed for her to show up and even if she doesn't there will be fic with her in it IMMEDIATELY. Yes.
Time: 20-30 mins? Paint can come shoot me in the face

Daily Doodle: Avatar: The Legend of Korra - Korra )
A temporary, rickety, slow computer has been acquired on loan — but it has internet. Hallelujah.

Daily Doodle: Just puttering around in Paint. Reffed. I am terrible at crosshatchy shading. Should actually practice sometime instead of flailing about.
Backdated 2 hours
Time: 10 mins?

Daily Doodle: MS Paint Adventures - Torso )
@[livejournal.com profile] ff_press: [FFX] [personal profile] justira: Dudely Lulu design v.0.5 (Lulu) (G)

YOU KNOW I was posting this and then the computer blue-screened AGAIN and now it is COMPLETELY dead? Like "can't recognize that the biggest partition (THE ONE WITH ALL THE FILES) exists" dead? And the laptop that was briefly resurrected is dead again and is unlikely to make a comeback (its power management is shot; it can't stay on unless it decides it is actually receiving power from being plugged in all the time). So! I am back down to zero computers at home, let alone any internet devices (no, I don't have a smartphone).

Well. We'll see I guess. Anyway, apologies to [personal profile] owlmoose — I disappeared right after saying I was uploading and about to show you this =\

Back to my interrupted post.

Daily Doodle: So the partner one day was like "I should cosplay a male Lulu. Make it so" and I was like ....YES.

I have no costume design experience, though; I just fumble along with my job classes and such. Also I a too tired [ETA: and with recurrent computer death, too cranky] to give a proper commentary, but I'll give it a shot under the cut. Also: this is not intended to be drag, but a male version of Lulu's design. Also also: was an interesting exercise in gender norms.
Backdated 11 hours fffff
Time: 40 mins?

Daily Doodle: FFX - Dudely Lulu design v.0.5 )
Well. After labouring over the computer to diagnose, reformat, and reinstall, we are pretty sure the hard drive partition the OS was on has gone bad. The hard drive itself is half a terabyte and is all of a year old. The other partitions so far look like they might be all right, but we're not sure yet.

I'm pretty upset. On the plus side, the partner managed to resurrect one of the laptops, although it' slower than a sloth in molasses, and its continued functioning rests somewhere between dubious and miraculous. Not sure how long it'll take to get the machine I can actually work to get back up. I should be grateful to have (or own!) a computer up at all, however slow and impossible to use, but I am feeling much more grumpy than generous just now =|

Daily Doodle: Don't feel like much of anything elaborate.
Time: 2-3 mins

Daily Doodle: Down )
@[livejournal.com profile] ff_press: [FFVIII] [personal profile] justira: Laguna (G)

Daily Doodle: FFFF THERE WENT MY LUNCH BREAK. The computer is still dead, but I apparently lied yesterday about *every* doodle being sketchy and quick until the computer was fixed. I adore Laguna superhard, but I'm not sure I've ever drawn him before? I apparently don't have much practice! But I tried. Used for reference a pic of Squall from below (plus a bunch of Laguna refs of course), so very totally based on that.

I should make a tag for these MS Paint portrait things I do.
Time: 20 mins?

Daily Doodle: FFVIII - Laguna )
Daily Doodle: Living in a minimal world. Drawn in MS Paint. Expect pretty sketchy doodles for the next few days, folks, since I have to draw them superquick not-at-home. Every computer in the place is dead: my laptop, the partner's laptop, the superawesome desktop. Sighface.
Time: 1-2 mins

Daily Doodle: Minimal girl )


SPECTACULARLY. I did not have a chance to upload doodle until just now because FFFFFFF absolutely no computer at home and a bunch of other responsibilities I had to take care of this morning instead of last night and basically FFFFF

It's really quite borked. DOS could not even index the main directory. Or change directories. I was impress. The reformatting is also going mega-slow. After working on it all night (~10 hours) it was a whole 6% (SIX PERCENT) done.

Jeezy Creezy.


Daily Doodle: A very quick and rough and FFFFF experiment with brush widths and quick hair methods. Not worth looking at really; but I might try to elaborate on this idea later.
backdated 11 hours wtf
Time: 2-3 mins

Daily Doodle: Hair/brush width experiment )
Daily Doodle: UUUUUUGGGGHHH stress day at work here have something superquick.
Time: 1-2 mins

Daily Doodle: Purse those lips )
@[livejournal.com profile] ff_press: [FFXII/Tactics] [personal profile] justira: Dark Knight Gabranth (G)

Daily Doodle: Of course he's a Dark Knight. Of course.


The thing is, Tactics style is apparently fabulous for displaying shapely male posterior (hint: bottom left). And APPARENTLY I now have some kind of Noah FETISH (courtesy of [personal profile] chaosraven NO DOUBT) and got it into my head at some point, or maybe [personal profile] renay gave me the idea, to thus showcase Noah. We never see his ass, but I am willing to bet it is pretty damn fine. His calves came out pretty well turned, too.

The design is meant to be more or less in the spirit of previous job class porn entries. The design is obviously taken from Gabranth's armour, with simplification inspiration (and ideas for how to simplify Noah's face) from the Revenant Wings Gabranth art. Modified to look a little closer to the standard War of the Lions Dark Knight — the... things... on Noah's legs (tassets? cuisses? what the hell are they?) were transformed into the flary tassets of the male Dark Knight (though I kept a simplified version of the design from Gabranth's). The ridiculous crowny things on his poleyns are now the (embroidered) boot cuffs of the female Knight. (I have something of a habit of borrowing from both genders' outfits indiscriminately, though I apparently particularly enjoy putting little touches from lady costumes on the gentlemen.) I tried to work in bitty spikes on his pauldrons (quite bitty).

I had the damnedest time trying to get any kind of resemblance in the Tactics style — the faces consist of a generic-across-characters eye style, NO nose, and minimal mouth. What the hell am I supposed to do with that? Ah, I tried. He rather resembles a Beoulve, though — I smell an AU.

This did turn out more than a little busy without the colours I was too lazy to apply — those would have delineated the shapes and muted the lines. But overall, quite fun, definitely going in the queue to clean up and colour someday.

Time: 1.5ish hours, not counting the time I spent staring off into space.


Daily Doodle: FFXII/FF Tactics - Dark Knight Gabranth )
@[livejournal.com profile] ff_press: [FF: The Spirits Within] [personal profile] justira: Jane Proudfoot (G)

Daily Doodle: After my completely ridiculous travails of yesternight (this morning, really), something that's not so.... overwrought. SO.

I adore Spirits Within, unlike, apparently, anyone with any taste in movies, any TRUE FINAL FANTASY FAN, and so on and so forth. After this last round of DOINK! I particularly enjoy Jane — and I've particularly noticed how much awesome Jane is (in the background) during the movie itself. She's smart, decisive, competent, snarky. Watch when Aki is being carted away from retrieving the ovo-pack near the middle of the film: when Aki wakes up and gets shot, it's Jane who kicks the idiot's ass. A LOT. That sort of thing. Now if only she and Aki had actually talked to each other.

Unfortunately, there's not really much of anything distinctive about her character design. She's basically The Girl. The male Deep Eyes all have completely different facial structures; Jane looks largely like any other CG lady, especially without a distinctive hairstyle like Aki has.

So this was kinda hard, especially as my realism resemblance abilities are pretty unreliable. But it was fun and much less tortured than yesterday's doodle.
Time: 10-15 mins

Daily Doodle: FF: The Spirits Within - Jane Proudfoot )
Daily Doodle: God. Damn.

First up: uncountable thanks to [personal profile] chaosraven for shaking this thing into some semblance of order.

Secondly: I GIVE UP.

This was always intended to be a leisurely kind of handjob, and I did Kyouraku's face and torso first and those came out mostly all right. And then I tried to do ANYTHING ELSE and it was just like balls.

Mostly though? I could not get Ukitake to look on-model TO SAVE MY LIFE. You know how long I worked on his face? JUST his face? About 2 hours, and about 10 start-from-scratch iterations. I have NO idea why Ukitake's face would not cooperate (possibly it has something to do with his very simple design never staying on-model in the source material EITHER) but. When it was approaching 6am and I had realized that I had been trying to perfect a RANDOM HANDJOB PICTURE for THE ENTIRE NIGHT I decided uhhhhh.


Anyway. Warning, there is cock; sorry, don't get excited, it's not very exciting cock. I would say more but IT'S SIX AM.

Once again: NOT WORKSAFE
Backdated 6 hours afkjflasjfop
Time: I DON'T WANT TO KNOW. Cumulatively (as I was distracted or just staring blankly at the screen a lot) I'd estimate 4 hours.

Daily Doodle: Bleach - Kyouraku/Ukitake (NC17) )




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